The Alchemy Articles
February 10, 2024
Read time: 6 minutes

Raise your glass and cheers to the dysfunctional circus act we call relationships!

Where do loved ones find themselves when addictive behaviors are high on the priority list?

Addiction not only affects individuals, but also has profound implications for their relationships with others.

What is a relationship?

It could be described as a dynamic connection between individuals characterized by mutual interactions, emotional attachments and shared experiences

A healthy relationship would consist of

• Trust

• Respect

• Communication

• Empathy

• Mutual Support

These healthy relationships can bring immense joy, fulfillment and companionship.

Who doesn*t want healthy relationships?

It takes effort and nurturing for relationships to thrive…

Often involving compromise, collaboration and the ability to navigate conflicts and challenges together.

A healthy relationship is a catalyst for growth

Realizing that relationships are like mirrors can help the growth of individuals and maintain healthy relationships.

Relationships reflect back to us aspects of ourselves that may be hidden or unconscious.

They are a reflection of self

The way we perceive and react to others is often a reflection of our own internal landscape, including our beliefs, values, insecurities and unresolved issues.

When conflicts arise or tension surfaces….

It can provide valuable insights into unresolved issues, unmet needs and areas for self-improvement

With intimacy, there becomes an even stronger bond that creates a magnetic force.

Making emotions bubble up much quicker than usual…

Often, the tiniest issues are huge ones in disguise

It’s a clue

Where do these emotions come from when triggered? Why are we getting triggered so easily?

We help one another by showing where the other lacks. Allowing, with awareness,….evolution.

→I challenge you to ask yourself how many times you have been in a fight over something minuscule and it generated an emotion that was way out of proportion.←

Inner wounds, repressed emotions and trauma that haven*t been worked through generate emotional content when triggered.

These wounds pull levers in our day to day lives creating surface level dramas.

These events are here to get our attention and….

Many people use vices to escape the signs

which diminishes our connection in relationships by introducing barriers that hinder intimacy, trust and connection.

Addiction, like thick fog, obscures the landmarks of healthy relationships. Studies show that partners of those struggling with substance abuse often report feelings of isolation, betrayal and emotional distress

Numbing out blurs our vision and sense of awareness

How do we expect to improve and help others improve when we reflect back a warped mirror?

Loved ones become doormats or a way to control something outside of ourselves

Emotional triggers, often rooted in past traumas, can turn minor disagreements into major conflicts

Hurt people hurt people

So how do we actually process the wounds from the past?

What do we do when we know we have dense emotions weighing us down?

Should we go to a therapist and run circles around the same thought patterns?

“We can’t solve today’s problems with the mentality that created them”
-Albert Einstein

EMOTIONAL ALCHEMY

Emotional alchemy, transforming leaden emotions into golden insights, offers a path to healing.

When we have emotions attached to a certain way of thinking (or a memory)

We stay connected to it with a firm grip

This is where STORYWORK shines.

Talking about something, rarely does something about it…

You get to physically do something about it.

That’s why storywork involves the breath

It becomes an action

Turning it into a mind-body practice, allowing the nervous system to down-regulate and process what’s coming to the surface

When the emotional connection to specific ways of thinking is transmuted, It allows us to take a step back for better solutions to be perceived.

Becoming the observer and giving us a chance to decide on a more accurate approach.

Storywork becomes an accelerated way to change, especially with the wounds that show themselves in relationships.

Let’s talk a bit about mindfulness(and self-care)

Mindfulness, the practice of being fully present and engaged in the moment, without judgment, can transform our approach to relationships.

By cultivating mindfulness, we can respond to our partners with clarity and compassion, rather than reacting from a place of hurt or anger.

This shift in perspective opens the door to deeper connections and understanding.

Self-Care is the foundation upon which our emotional resilience is built. In the context of relationships and healing from addiction, self-care practices (regular exercise, adequate sleep and engaging in hobbies) can fortify our emotional well-being.

These practices not only rejuvenate us but also empower us to show up as our best selves in our relationships.

• Dedicate some time each day to meditate or do deep breathing exercises.

• Integrate self-care into your routine by setting aside time each week for activities that nourish your soul.

Remember, the smallest steps can lead to profound changes in your personal and relational health.

Individual well-being is the cornerstone for healthy relationships and effective healing from addiction.

Through the lens of Storywork Alchemy, we’ve seen how our emotional baggage, triggers and unresolved issues can serve as gateways to self-discovery and relational harmony.

By turning inwards and addressing these wounds, we not only heal ourselves, we also strengthen the fabric of our relationships. The path to healthier relationships and a fulfilling life is paved with patience, understanding and a commitment to growth.

Thanks for joining me on the journey and if anyone is interested in experiencing the power of words, stories and how they influence us, use this link to book a chat.

Until next time,
Garreth Spencer